February 25, 2016

Mindfulness Tips, Techniques, Humour

Attempt at Meditation Take 1

Alright, so I feel a bit overwhelmed. My brain is making strange ticking noises like an overworked radiator and I have a to-do list as long as the Hogwarts Express. Why did I agree to that last project? Did I think I was going to magically invent an eighth day of the week? I’m not going to let this get on top of me. I’ll just take a break. I only need five minutes to clear my head. I’ll try that meditation technique again.

What did the book say to do? Something about stepping outside of my body. That’s right. I’m a leaf swaying in the breeze. About to embark on a spontaneous journey of discovery. Ah do I have time for this? Emptying my mind is harder than a HIIT workout in five-inch heels. Stop it, just concentrate. Damn that book.

You want me to be a leaf you should have given me something else to work with otherwise it’s all downhill from here. Wait, did I put the kettle back properly? Sometimes I accidentally have it on boil even though there’s no water in it and it spits and throws sparks like a sparkler at a bonfire.

That reminds me, do you think it’s warm enough to go tights-free this weekend? I mean it’s really sunny today but I haven’t actually been outside yet so it’s probably frosty as f**k. No the kettle must be fine otherwise I would have heard it explode by now. Right, sorry. I’m a leaf. I’m a leaf, I’m a leaf, I’m a leaf. What kind of leaf am I though?

Shut up. Do you want to feel at peace or not? Just empty your mind. Sway in the breeze.

Maybe if I think of the colour blue it will help me relax into this. Is blue a sad colour? Maybe it should be red instead. Oh no wait red means anger doesn’t it? I don’t need that kinda crap in my life today.

OMG. I’ve just thought of a really awesome idea for my book. I should write it down. Should I write it down now or wait until my leaf has fallen off the tree?

Oh okay, that’s it. Now we’re getting somewhere, lets gently fall off the tree and float down into a steam. OMG. Did I really just think that? I sound like an idiot.

This isn’t working. Why am I so hungry?


Sometimes my attempts at mindfulness go down harder than a lead balloon. When my brain isn’t cooperating, this LBB (Little Blue Book) is my knight in geometric armour. What could be easier and more satisfying than writing down three positive things that happen each day? If that isn’t a form of mindfulness for the notoriously distracted then I don’t know what is. And breathe.

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Mindfulness Tips, Techniques, Humour


  1. I found this article last month and owe you a big "thank you." Your blog is truly inspiring, as are you. I click on this website almost everyday when I turn on my computer, whether to search for new articles or reread others. I must say you have some valuable advice, and I am inspired by the way you overcome your struggles. A lot of people on this earth can definitely learn so much from you! Thank you for this blog, and for being so thoughtful and sharing your experiences to change others' lives.

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    Sant Kirpal Singh

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